


as valiant as Hercules

by thewalrus_said



Category: Much Ado About Nothing (2012)
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Incest, Murder, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 20:29:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1996782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewalrus_said/pseuds/thewalrus_said
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If she were a man, she would eat his heart in the market-place; she would feast upon his bones in the open air, tearing through the meat and muscle until every piece of him lay exposed, every treacherous inch of him on display for the world to see, if only she were a man.</p>
<p>She cannot be a man with wishing, though, and she cannot get to market. The feast, then, will have to take place indoors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	as valiant as Hercules

**Author's Note:**

> I mentioned to a friend, after watching the movie, that I wanted the fic where Beatrice kills Claudio her damn self and then they all run away together. She told me to write it.
> 
> The quote at the beginning, the title, and some of the dialogue are out of Shakespeare's play; I claim no credit for them.
> 
> Implied incest (cousins) and even more faintly implied foursome involving said incest.

_Is he not approved in the height a villain, that_   
_hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman? O_   
_that I were a man! What, bear her in hand until they_   
_come to take hands; and then, with public_   
_accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancour,_   
_\--O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart_   
_in the market-place._

-Much Ado About Nothing, 1951-1957

If she were a man, she would eat his heart in the market-place; she would feast upon his bones in the open air, tearing through the meat and muscle until every piece of him lay exposed, every treacherous inch of him on display for the world to see, if only she were a man.

She cannot be a man with wishing, though, and she cannot get to market. The feast, then, will have to take place indoors. She leaves Benedick swearing his love and begging her Tarry, tarry, and slams the door behind her.

She finds Margaret weeping in the pantry, Ursula cradling her in amongst the flour and the mousetraps. Margaret cannot speak, but Ursula can, and she learns enough to piece together the rest. She leans forward, taking Margaret under the elbows and pulling her to her feet. She leads Margaret to the knife-block in the kitchen, pulls out the two fillet knives, and holds one out. Margaret, the last of her tears running down her face and landing uselessly on the floor, reaches out and takes it. “Ready the car,” she says to Ursula, and then she and Margaret leave.

The good and noble count is asleep in the yard, a bottle in his hand and several empty ones scattered around his sleeping form. She slips the knife in through the gap between two buttons of his shirt, and his eyes fly open. Margaret is at his head, one hand on his chest to keep him still and the other slitting his throat. She pulls the knife out again, not a stitch of his noble clothing torn, and she and Margaret leave him there, spluttering weakly.

She leads Margaret towards the stairs but there is no need; Hero appears at the top as they reach the bottom, and descends. She offers Hero the hilt of her knife but her cousin refuses, taking Margaret’s instead. Hero walks with sure foot to the door of Leonato’s study, and Leonato opens to door to three women he can no longer recognise, two covered in blood and the third clean as day. Hero says, soft as a whisper, “One Hero died defiled, but I do live,” and leaves the knife buried in his stomach.

She leaves her own knife on the front step, dropped in Margaret’s bloody footprint. Benedick comes flying to the door, screaming Tarry! Tarry! From the backseat, she blows him a kiss. Hero takes her hand as Ursula sends the car through the closed front gate.

Margaret laughs as the car hits the highway, head tossed back and hair flying in the wind. Ursula’s vicious smile reflects in the rearview mirror, as Hero kisses her filthy hands. There is blood on her wrists and freedom in her mouth, and the sunset turns Margaret’s hair orange as fire.


End file.
